Apparently things are moving so quickly that the FBI has to pre-order handcuffs that will fit TFG:
F.B.I. to Special-Order a Pair of Tiny Handcuffs
The F.B.I. spokesperson said that, if regulation-sized handcuffs were used on a suspect with “extremely small or tiny hands,” the suspect could slip out of them and elude capture.
“That’s the scenario we’re trying to avoid with these minuscule handcuffs,” he said.
Dorrinson would not speculate when the special-ordered pair of microscopic handcuffs might be used, but he added that the F.B.I. expects to receive them “by the end of the day at the very latest.”
“If by chance we need to apprehend someone with abnormally small, mouse-sized hands, we will be ready,” he said.
Borowitz is pure gold. I couldn’t have done better than that if I’d tried. 🤣🤣🤣🤣